The Kind of Man Every Woman Wants to Marry

My Husband, Douglas E. Adkins

Mamie Adkins

It was 1987, during an Easter week when my heart felt a sudden surge it hadn’t known for many years. Imagine that… there I was, sitting with my daughter in cold metal chairs at RCIA class in the Star of the Sea Catholic Church … vaguely attracted to a bearded man who by all accounts probably had no intentions of becoming tied down with a ready-made family. And yet… his blue eyes kept calling me.

Of course, the married couple in our group, about the age as my parents, felt that we were a perfect match. This delightful couple had been prodding me to sit closer to them each week until one week, two chairs were waiting for my daughter and me. On the other side of her husband was a convenient chair for this bearded man! As Easter approached, they encouraged me to host a small gathering at our home. Naturally, I invited the bearded man, along with another couple. As it turned out, he and another couple were our only guests other than my daughter and sweet poodle, Coco.

It was such a magnificent day with the spring time weather just gracefully encompassing our home as if a magical spell had been planned just for us. My daughter had gone with the other couple to enjoy an activity so that Doug and I could have some time for private conversation to get to know each other. It was magical, with the springtime flowers scattered about the house, and the room kissed with a warm breeze that flowed through the windows that slightly brushed against the sheer curtains. I felt like a young girl, giddy with excitement of a new relationship budding into a romance.

But it was not all roses and sweet dreams. Doug had been a confirmed bachelor for thirty five years and not about to be caught! I tried to keep my excitement in check, guarding my heart with a little caution. After all, I’d already walked through one painful relationship—I wasn’t in any hurry to make another mistake… or was I?. There was something in his eyes. Something steady. Something kind. And just like that, any doubts I had about who he was… melted away.

How many descriptive words can I find for this exceptional man? Too many…Doug, above all words in the dictionary can easily be described with just a few well chosen phrases. “A man always in your corner”…a soft shoulder to rest your head and listen to your every fear, dream and joys in life.

We both loved the ocean. The three of us—Doug, my daughter, and I—spent every free moment by the sea: walking the shoreline, riding mopeds, crabbing, or simply sitting in the peace of the waves..

We based our relationship on a few unspoken intentions with one being that you don’t give 50-50, but 70/30 ….It works! We have never shared a cross or mean word, because of how we keep negative words to one another out of any conversations. Never did we have to take back a spur of the moment angry comment, made without thoughtfulness. It wasn’t always easy, but it was worth it. I married the perfect man, and I would never hurt the one person in my life that would never hurt me. Doug loved both my daughter and me. It couldn’t have been any better than that.

One afternoon in Seattle, while we were walking the city with Doug’s brother Russ and his lovely wife Donna, Russ leaned over and said, “It’s Sadie Hawkins Day. If you don’t propose to him, he never will.” Donna nodded in full agreement.”

So I did. I proposed.

And Doug, with that calm, thoughtful look of his, said, “I’ll have to think about it.”

“Well, never mind then,” I shot back, trying to hide my embarrassment. “I take it back!”

But a few days later, he knelt beside the bed and asked in the most Doug way possible, “Do you want to get hitched?

It wasn’t the grand romantic proposal some women dream of—but it was real, it was us, and it was everything I needed. I said yes. And now, 37 years later, I still would.

August 6, 1988 — On a dock overlooking a quiet sea inlet at a dear friend’s home, we said “I do.” Wrapped in ivy, hope, and each other… a life of love and adventure began.

Douglas E. And Rosemary J. (Mamie) Adkins

We became three as one in unity and after knowing one another, we were married, on August 6, 1988, sixteen months after we met. My daughter became our daughter, our careers working together in our future endeavors of a candy company, multi-level marketing, wholesaler/Importers of fine handcrafted knit woolens from Ireland, traveling for trade shows, and writing and publishing books.

Our careers and activities together, included making our own chocolates with exhaustive days and nights falling in bed from total exhaustion eating half a sandwich if we could, just to get up a couple of later to start over again, ….the years we spent helping my younger brother care for his only son……the fun stories of the haircuts I gave him when too tired and my glasses were in a different room…the day my husband shaved and I had never seen him without a beard or when our daughter wondered who was coming into our home as she didn’t recognize him either…our outings with the three of us to the beach…the crab feeds…our wonderful fur babies, there are 39 years together and 37 years of happy marriage.

So many memories.

Our local adventures to the coast continued but as a bonus to our lives, we decided to expand our travels to Hawaii, where we spent our anniversary as a family at the Moana Surfrider on Waikiki. I had never in my life seen anything so beautiful and so magical. It felt as if Doug had taken us to a land where only fairytales are found.

However, it was on DiamondHead where Doug learned his life had true changed. As a single parent, and recent diabetic, I had no insurance so I could not afford the supplies for my recent diagnosis of diabetes. I had a meter but no insulin, and my tester but that was of little uses as it registered at high! Meaning I was in real trouble, at a reading of “high” when it was only there after you hit 550!

Poor Doug. He hadn’t just become a new husband and father—now he found himself on health patrol, too. Without hesitation, he dove headfirst into research, reading everything he could find about diabetes online. Within hours, he knew more than I did. He understood I needed insulin immediately, and he didn’t rest until I began taking my health seriously. He never made me feel ashamed—only loved. He carried another responsibility without complaint, adding it to the growing list he bore so quietly and so completely. That was my Doug!

When we returned from Hawaii, Doug and I got involved with the American Diabetes Association. We became their representatives for Kitsap County and established the local chapter…despite skepticism from others. Only one person felt we could do it alone…Clair Sagiv. But we proved the rest wrong. Doug was still working for the PSNS Shipyard and many Navy ships were docked nearby.

Our first fundraiser was a dream come true. The Navy gave us permission to host the first-ever walk in history on a U.S. aircraft carrier. We named it “Walk on Water with the USS Carl Vinson.” It was a smashing success. And once again, Doug was all in—supporting my hobbies, passions, events, and ideas as if they were his own.

How lucky could one woman be? Doug never tried to control or limit me—he encouraged me to chase anything I dreamed of. But the amazing part? He always got deeply involved. He didn’t just cheer from the sidelines—he rolled up his sleeves and joined the journey. I don’t have a single friend who can say their partner is like my bearded husband.

Doug was—and is—a wonderful father to our daughter. His love has never had limits. We traveled with her to every guard competition, near and far. Despite his years as a bachelor, he handled slumber parties like a pro—staying up late making nachos, then cleaning it all up the next morning with a quiet smile.

The day came when it was time to take our daughter to college and it was a happy day but sad. Our little girl/teenager shining in all of her glory was leaving home. It felt like the perfect daughter, perfect family and it was all about to change.

We cried together after driving away that day recalling the times we spent on the sea in a small Livingston boat Doug had rigged up with 2 x 4’s and large hooks to rope and pull in crab pots so we could enjoy a feast; the quiet laughter we heard through the floors when she had slumber parties; the pride we felt as we watched our beautiful talented daughter performing Color Guard; memories of her playing her music loud with her bare feet on the walls; the vulnerable ways she had while her Dad worried about her so much; and the day her husband came to ask her Dad for her hand in marriage.

Long before Easter 1990, our journey into chocolates had already begun. I started out making handmade chocolates with a friend in the basement of our home, just a small hobby with big dreams. When my parents tasted our confections and learned we were wholesaling to a local Hallmark store, they offered to invest—buying our first tempering pot to help us grow.

With their encouragement, we took a leap of faith together. We all traveled to Disneyland for a chocolate show, where we bought our first professional equipment—including a 500-pound box of chocolate and a conveyor-style enrober just like the one from I Love Lucy. After buying out a partner, Doug and I developed further our own storefront with my parents: Miss Mamie’s Candy Company.

What most people didn’t know was that Doug was still working full-time at the shipyard while helping run the shop. Every evening, after a full day on the job, he would come straight to the store and put in another six to eight hours making chocolate, restocking shelves, and preparing orders. During the holiday rush, he would take two weeks off from his day job just to help us keep up with demand.

But as time went on, the work began to fall entirely on Doug and me. My parents meant well, but my mother was an unpredictable business partner—working when she wanted and often stepping away just when we needed the most help. Eventually, my father’s health declined, and they stopped coming but for now and then, even during the holidays., judging us when we had to rest.

Doug and I found ourselves running a full chocolate production on our own—making, hand-packing, and managing an inventory that included thirty-three flavors of truffles alone. While others went home at night, our “days off” were spent rebuilding inventory just to stay afloat.

There were nights we were so exhausted we’d fall into bed with a half-sandwich still in hand—sometimes catching only three or four hours of sleep before it all began again.

But we did it. Together. For four years we ran the store, and after closing the storefront, we shifted to trade shows and custom orders.

And here we are, more than thirty years later, still making chocolates for family, friends, and faithful customers. The candy company may have started with cocoa and dreams… but it was built on love, sacrifice, and Doug’s never-failing strength. I could not have done it alone.

Easter 🐣 1990

Doug’s favorite chocolate candy we make is our toffee. This year I decided to make him a solid rabbit about 16” high and filled with crushed and broken up toffee. This was a huge job considering we had not opened our store as yet and I was working with a small melter. My parents were visiting and their dog was into everything that day including this rabbit…he was so sick but Doug was too,

To this day, that rabbit still makes Doug groan—but not because of the mess. Because he knew how many hours of love had gone into it. That’s what our life has always been about. Love. Quiet, unwavering, everyday love.

Angels in Our Midst.

This is one of many memories I will cherish. Doug has no real hobbies of his own. When asked, what he does, he simply replies, My hobbies are whatever Mamie is doing,” and he meant it. Here was the first time I was able to convince him to join me and  write a few stories to include inside of this book. It was about our Maggie, who we had adopted at the Kitsap Humane Society. At only six weeks she had suffered abuse and been abandoned. Maggie had many health problems at six weeks from her early beginnings so we researched day and night to learn what was good for feeding her back to good health. Once we had been approved by our vet, we published a book titled, Maggie’s Kitchen Tails; Dog Treat Recipes and Puppy Tales to Love. (https://www.MamieBooks.com)

Our adventure didn’t end with just one book. We went on to package our dog treat recipes  into ready-to-make cookie mixes—just add water and bake! We found the perfect cookie cutters to tie to each bag, and Maggie’s picture became the heart of the brand. They were sold to a major grocery store brand. 

Although Doug had already helped me get my first two books ready for publication, this was his first time stepping in as a writer—and it was such fun sharing book signings and marketing with my best friend and husband. Traveling together, meeting readers, talking about Maggie… we found even more to bond about and reasons to laugh. Our readers gave us much to be grateful for as writers and we were so happy to be amongst them.

 

From rescue to recipe star—Maggie’s  journey inspired more than a book. She became the face of our first dog treat line, handmade with love… and packaged with Doug’s wholehearted support.

Doug has always encouraged me to keep writing, even when I doubted myself. With his support, I’ve written and published two books, co-authored one with a ghostwriting client, another with Doug and a dear friend—and now, this one. The one that might just shake the publishing world a little.

While cheering me on, Doug—and Maggie—have taken me across the country for book signings, television interviews, radio shows, podcasts, and newspaper features. I could never have done it alone. Doug keeps me organized, edits my work, posts my blogs, and lays out my books. And Maggie? She grounds us both with her loyalty, her love, and those sweet, sloppy kisses.

Can you see now why Doug never had time for hobbies?

Maggie often stays by Doug’s side, keeping him company while I am busy with my books, keeping watch with fierce devotion.  She would protect him with every fiber of her being—and Doug would do the same for her, without hesitation. That’s what makes our little  family so special.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve been selfish all these years, chasing ideas, dreams, and new adventures. But deep down, I believe this: If Doug had any dream of his own, I would have supported it with the same unshakable love he’s always shown me. That’s the foundation of us—quiet devotion, selfless encouragement, and the joy of walking through life together.

Maggie, our co-pilot on every journey. Always watching, always loving, always with us.

Now let me tell you a story that proves just how flexible this extraordinary man truly is.

In May and June of 2011, Doug was set to retire—and I had a surprise in store. Several, in fact. (It’s probably a good thing Maggie hadn’t come into our lives yet, or we’d have had to find a way to bring her too—because since joining us, she’s never been left behind.)

First, we met our daughter, Kecia, and son-in-law, Jonathan, in the Cayman Islands for a weeklong dream vacation—by the sea and together as a family. After returning home, we barely had time to catch our breath before embarking on the real journey: a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Ireland.

It was June 2011. We flew first class, and I had spent an entire year researching every stop and experience to make this our dream trip. It also became the inspiration for my first book: Extraordinary Dreams of an Ireland Traveler. We captured every detail— behind-the-scenes five-star hotels, met world-renowned chefs, took in the breathtaking Cliffs of Moher, the artistry of Waterford Crystal, and a carriage ride through one of the most beautiful national parks in the world.

Boy, have I ever come along way in writing since that time! Here’s the kicker: while shopping woolens in Ireland, I discovered a women’s designer line barely known in the U.S. at the time. Yes, you guessed it—Doug came out of retirement just ten days in, to help me import and sell that line here at home. That’s who he is. After 40 years of hard work, he was willing to jump back in for one more adventure—because I believed in it. And he believed in me.

It was called Aine Knitwear. And we’re proud to say her exquisite designs eventually made it across the ocean to find a home here, the USA. It was a wild ride as we found hours and energy we did not realize we had. We could not resist taking this on because the uniqueness of Aine’s designs were most extraordinary. It was at the airport departing Ireland that we had finally caught up with her using every single Euro we had but one, to buy sample goods to get started. Armed to show the world what we had discovered in Ireland other than the exceptional people, views to take your breath away and incredible history, Aine Knitwear launched us back into business after a whopping retirement of two weeks! Here is what we fell in love with that put us back on the road.

Killarney National Park, Ireland – June 2011. Celebrating our 23rd anniversary, Doug’s retirement, and the launch of my first book. The horse may have pulled the carriage… but love carried us the rest of the way.

Amongst so many places we visited, one of the most joyful moments was the day we roamed through Killarney National Park in a horse-drawn carriage, celebrating our wedding anniversary a few months later. We had been together for 23 years. We were celebrating our anniversary, Doug’s 40-year career, his retirement (however short-lived), and the pending launch of my first book. Life was so good to us, and although we had just returned from retirement that only lasted ten days, before finding ourselves back into business, we were so happy to be in Ireland celebrating, meeting new and gracious new friends.

Our favorite kind of fun was always simple: time at the beach. Whether we were watching whitecaps dance across a stormy sea or soaking in the stillness of rolling waves that stretched into forever, nothing felt quite like our time together by the water.

Our first weekend trip as a family took us to the little coastal town of La Push, where an A-frame house sat perched right on the sand—so close to the sea we could hear it breathe from the front door. It was on that trip, standing just feet from the ocean, that I knew:
He would one day be the man forever in our lives.

From that moment on, the coast became our sacred space. Each trip built our bond stronger—as partners, as parents, and as a family fully living out the life we dreamed.

Many have asked us how we managed to get along, keep our sanity, find time for ourselves, or stay healthy through it all. Truthfully? This chapter was one of the greatest challenges in our marriage—and I’m proud to say, Doug rose above it all.

Although I was raised in an abusive home, when my mother became a widow—alone and in poor health—we took her in. Unfortunately, her cruelty came with her. She was demanding and sharp in her manner.

Every morning between 5 and 6 AM, she would yell out my name, needing attention, food, or simply someone to control. After hours of bathing her, managing her needs, and cleaning her room, it was usually 2 PM before I could finally shower or have a sip of coffee.

Doug would come home from work and never once judged me. He saw the toll it was taking and jumped in beside me—helping clean the house, preparing dinner, never once complaining that the usual rhythm of our home had changed. This went on for six months. We were exhausted—mentally, physically, emotionally.

But there was a constant. Through the insults, the impossible demands, and the emotional weight, we had each other.

Doug—with his quiet wisdom—always found the words to calm me at the end of each day. He helped me reset. Because of him, I could face the next morning.

He’s my partner in life, and together, we handled what would have broken so many others.

Did it take a toll? Yes.
We were tired. We lost weight. Our appetites. Our energy. At times, we were short-tempered and worn thin. But with Doug by my side, life was still livable. And sometimes, in the darkest moments, he made me laugh.

Whenever someone asked Doug if he carried a weapon, he’d give his classic reply:
“I don’t need a weapon—I have my wife.”
The room would burst into laughter. And just like that, things felt a little lighter.

Now, let’s add a bright spot we haven’t mentioned yet—Johnny. 

Our nephew. Our boy.

Johnny came into our lives when he was just a few weeks old, while his incredible mama was working as a teacher. We were lucky enough to help care for him—and even luckier to watch him grow up.

From dive-bombing mashed potatoes to helping us drive cross-country, Johnny has always been a light in our lives. He visits every couple of months, still, and every time he walks through our door, we’re reminded of just how lucky we are.

He’s an extraordinary soul who’s brought us nothing but happiness—and love. 

Life has been good to us—with Kecia and Johnny in it, we’ve had more joy than many ever know. We’ve endured family losses that rocked our lives, but Doug has always stood steady against anything that could have devastated us.

We are proud—so deeply proud—to have each other, and to call Kecia our daughter, and Johnny our boy.

The one other part of our family  the three of us (Doug, Kecia and myself) loved so much were our fur babies. Our lives have been blessed with poodles mostly, Coco, Jenger and Pierre; a wonderful chocolate lab, Sandy; and our current, but older Border Collie/Shepard, Maggie.

Maggie is my service dog, loyal beyond measure to us both. She is protective while she herds us into bed every night…with no exceptions! She is too smart for her own good, but we love her with our whole hearts… and often, all we have.

At only eight week old, she woke me during a blood sugar crash and has been a medical  alert dog ever since. We have often run into strangers when Maggie senses  medical problems, trying to fix anyone in need. She senses what no one else can.

And though I call her my girl, she has always been her daddy’s girl. At Maggie’s age of only 8 weeks, she was madly infatuated with her Dad and while standing up on a barrier, Doug saw her chest markings and dubbed her an angel. The white pattern did look exactly like the wings of an angel and she remains our angel today.

It does not matter where Doug goes, Maggie always wants to go with her dad! She will sit by the window for hours watching for his return.

Wherever Doug goes, Maggie wants to be there. She’ll sit at the window for hours, waiting. When they play, she often puts his entire wrist in her mouth—not to bite, but to hold. To love.

We once asked our vet what she was doing. He said,
“She’s tasting Doug.”

This photo? That’s the two of them, waiting for me at an appointment, with Maggie buttering him up for a treat.

It’s a perfect picture of our life: loyal, playful, full of the quiet joy that comes from just… being together.

Maggie, buttering up her daddy for a treat—

her heart’s favorite person

We’ve found something special, and I know it took me longer than most. But I believe now more than ever… it’s all about taking care of your family, and the quiet sacrifices no one sees.

I invite you to stop for a moment. Think about the blessings in your life. Think about why you chose your partner. What makes it work? What keeps it good?

Doug has given me every dream a woman could ever wish for—love, respect, kindness, patience. He’s lifted me through illness, and given me hope when I thought mine had run dry.

I try to do the same for him. I only hope I’ve come close.

My health has been fragile for years, but Doug has been the steady force keeping me here. Without him, I truly doubt I’d still be in the game.

Sorry ladies, I got the best of them. But, don’t stop looking as another thats almost as good is waiting for you too

My man.

Kecia’s father. Johnny’s uncle. the bearded man every woman would want to marry,“is ours!

Over the years, with Doug by my side, I’ve written and published:

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

The road doesn’t stop here. My extraordinary husband has once again been recruited to help launch two more books by December of 2025. Be sure to watch for his unmatched talent as the Reflections of Mamie second edition is in the works. As a second book, is almost complete, and one of the most exciting books we have written, will surely be a shock to the writers world. Stay tuned to our website for details.

I’ve co-authored Generation Arc: How to Create an Enduring Legacy with a ghostwriting client, collaborated with Doug and a friend on a family story, and now… this current book. The one that just might shake the publishing world to its core.

In addition to my own books, I’ve ghostwritten more than 50 titles for clients—each one crafted with Doug’s help in layout, editing, compiling, and heart.

Through it all, Doug has stayed steady—quietly laying the bricks that made every step possible.

With him, everything in my life is possible.

Doug, you are my everything in life, my partner, lover, husband, best friend, and I respect and adore you.

Maggie and I thank you for the best years of my life.

Mamie

The name Miss Mamie’s Candy Company wasn’t just a business name—it was a part of my soul. It came from my baby brother, who couldn’t say “Rosemary” and, in his sweet innocence, called me “Mamie.” I didn’t like it at first, but over time, it became me. It was born from love, and I’ve carried it ever since.

That’s what made it so painful when my mother, even after all the harm she had caused in my life, began telling people she was Miss Mamie. She said it before, during, and after we opened the store—and even while living in our home, where she treated me like her maid in her final months. I cared for her as she declined, despite the emotional toll, despite the weight I lost and the strength it nearly took from me. But taking my name—that was another wound entirely.

So let me say it clearly now: I am Miss Mamie. Not because of branding. Not because of storefronts.
But because someone I loved saw me that way before the world ever did.

That name stands for survival. For healing. For strength.
And for the life Doug and I built—together, from the ground up—with no more lies left behind us.

Today, Doug, Kecia, and I are free. Free from verbal, emotional, and physical abuse.
We welcome the years ahead one day at a time, with love, with laughter, and with peace we earned the hard way.

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